Currently, eyes are freaking swollen and my nose is super blocked. I cried. Not because of my own personal problems or whatsoever, but after watching dream potter on channel U. 60 minutes of casting, and I think I cried for 40-50 minutes. In almost every scene that was shown, my tears literally row down my cheek as though it was a running tap. 

Every time I catch episodes like this, reflecting on the tragedies of others misfortune, I can't help, but feel sympathetic and how I wish everyone could be treated fairly in this world. Why must there people out there who suffers under the worst health conditions or weird diseases which are almost incurable. The worst part of life is, they can't enjoy life as how normal human beings do. Not having to undergo the illness that's been haunting them, no one can ever understand how it feels exactly. All that I ever knew is, life will not be just mere miserable as not even a word in the dictionary could describe what they have been undergoing. Sometimes, I really admire people who are able to survive for this long, despite their illnesses. They seemed so much stronger than we, normal people do. They don't give up life easily unlike some normal beings who don't give life a damn and just wanna end it by jumping off the building. Please, think about it. Why can they think positively and live life as it goes, while we can't? Aren't you a coward and weakling?

And recently, I had this thought. I want to be rich. Yes, who doesn't hope to be wealthy, am I right? Besides enjoying the luxury of life, for a better reason, I want to be a philanthropist. I want to use my money in a meaningful way. I want to help people with the money I've earn. I think this gives money a greater value now. 

As I get to know about all these tragedies that's happening every single day around us, it often remind me of not taking things for granted. I do have fears of becoming critically ill, for it will take away everything in my life and I dont wish for that to even come true. Hence, while I still can live normally like anyone do, I hope to live life to the fullest and at the same time, if I can, I want to help any needy people in my life. Maybe as I grow older, I can reach out to the society and make more contributions. I believe in Karma. And even if there isn't anything of that sort, I will still hope to extend my help to others. Everyone needs encouragement, support and love. At least I think we can all give out these generously without any hesitation. 

If you talk about love, I don't emphasize on the kind of boyfriend, girlfriend love. Who says love is only between two people? If I have love, I want to spread it all around those who needs them. What is so great about only loving someone wholeheartedly. I think a "noble love" of being able to reach out to others out there is more meaningful. 

_

Moving on, I have a sad thing to announce. My HP died on me. Screw it. I was so sad and angry. Why at this point of time when I need to do storyboarding and when I've only gotten it for 2 weeks. DAMN. And come to realise about this point. I think I am super reliant on my parents. I always think that Im independent, but things prove this statement wrong. I admit, Im kinda timid. Sometimes, I dont even dare to call up service centres or whatsoever to seek for help. I dont know why I have this "weird fear" of speaking on the phone with strangers. I will stammer. But if I were to go face to face asking someone something, I will be able to do it properly. sigh. Time for a change, Stephanie. So, my dad says he's gonna help bring the lappy down to Alexandra to ask for help. Ohyes, I am very thankful, seriously. Something flashed across my mind a couple of hours ago when I got home. I was thinking, what a fortunate kid I am. I have my dad and mom who always shoulder problems for me. They are always there whenever I faces hiccups in life, and for instances, the time when I needed a new laptop, they got me one. I am very glad and content. This is why, I swear, I will be a good girl and treat my parents well, even in the worst times of mine, I want to give them the best in the future, for they have given me everything of theirs. I will do the same. 

Now, all I hope is to make my HP get well. sigh. Why are you sick??? 

This is week 6. Time sure has "zoomed" past. Week 7 is submissions and week 8 is critique. Oh man. And this shows that week 6 is gonna be a super busy week. I need to produce the best of the best work in the shortest possible time. Sorry but to say that I need to end my post here and get to work. Then I will come back again whenever I feel inspired like how I did just now. 

I felt very enlightened these days. Maybe HTI topics like buddhism (essay I worked on) did work on me. haha. :D Naise. 

I feel especially inspired to blog right now and I shall do it while I still have the mood.